sniff

Last Friday was the Mother’s Day tea at Madelyn’s school. I was prepared. I heard they were putting on a little show. The teachers started passing out the tissues before the kids even walked in. I thought, how bad could it be, probably more silly that sad, right? So, they did their little show and sang some songs, and I got a bit choked up by the end but I wasn’t like, sobbing or anything. Then we went off to their classroom. We were treated to treats and showed around the classroom, all of the special projects were displayed. Then Miss Teacher-Lady (nine months pregnant) tells us they have something special to show us, and puts on this DVD she put together with a slide show set to music. Pictures of all the kids throughout the year, working and playing, and being first graders. By the end I was a sopping wet mess. Madelyn looked at me like I was nuts. But I wasn’t the only one. It was silent in that room. Sniffles here and there. Then the teacher said she had made copies of the dvd for all of us. That’s when it got really crazy. All the moms were sobbing. So thankful to this teacher, because none of us wanted to be the one to ask this woman, on her last day before maternity leave, if she could please make 25 copies. She thought ahead. Smart woman. So since then I’ve just been feeling kind of sad. Like I’m just missing my kids growing up. I mean, I’m here every day. God knows I spend nearly all of my time with them. I’ve never even left them overnight, except to go have another baby. But I feel, still, like I’m not with them enough. Not to sound all weird, but like I’m not experiencing enough. They’re just growing up, too fast. This song that played in the dvd really got me. I can’t get it out of my head.

LONESTAR LYRICS

“Let Them Be Little”

[Originally written and sung by Billy Dean]

I can remember when you fit in the palm of my hand
Felt so good in it, no bigger than a minute
How it amazes me, you’re changing with every blink
Faster than a flower blooms they grow up all too soon

So let them be little ’cause they’re only that way for a while
Give them hope, give them praise, give them love every day
Let them cry, let them giggle, let them sleep in the middle
Oh just let them be little

I’ve never felt so much in one little tender touch
I live for those kisses, prayers and your wishes
Now that you’re teaching me things only a child can see
Every night while we’re on our knees all I ask is please

Let them be little ’cause they’re only that way for a while
Give them hope, give them praise, give them love every day
Let them cry, let them giggle, let them sleep in the middle
Oh just let them be little

So innocent, a precious soul, you turn around
It’s time to let them go

So let them be little ’cause they’re only that way for a while
Give them hope, give them praise, give them love every day
Let them cry, let them giggle, let them sleep in the middle
Oh just let them be little

Let them be little

Okay, see, just rereading them right now makes me tear up. And then, what really got me is that just yesterday, at my cousin’s house I saw her little 15 month old wearing one of Madelyn’s old outfits. And it just hit me. That she was actually that small. And now she’s not. Ugh. It happened overnight. So, it’s my goal to be a bit more present, try to breathe in this time a bit more. I know that no matter what I’m still gonna miss it later, but I want to enjoy it more now, while I can.

So, here’s my biggest little and me from that day at school. My eyes are a bit puffy. Now you know why.
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