Spring has sprung. I hadn’t even noticed. M. told me yesterday as we were riding in the car. “look, Mommy, green on the trees. It must be spring.” Yeah, I guess so. I’ve been so wrapped up this past week with sick kidlets I’ve only been outside to go to the dr.’s office or the pharmacy. Two of my three are on the mend. One is still sick. It’s the baby. Bronchitis. Yucko. He’s holding his own, though. I haven’t seen that much of an improvement, but he’s not getting worse. And that’s good. So, we’re hanging in there.
One of the things I have been thinking about, though, is that I need to just relax. I’m so worried about what’s coming up that I miss what’s going on. I worry about when the baby will sleep better so that I can get a night out with the grown-up girls. I worry about whether he’ll take a bottle or not so I can leave him for a bit with Daddy or Grandma. I worry about whether my middle boy will get to go to regular Kindergarten, 2 1/2 years from now or if he’ll still be in a special ed. program. How crazy is that? Two and a half years away. Why am I worrying about that? So what if I have to nurse my baby to sleep for an hour before he goes to sleep. So what? I did it with my other two, they now are great sleepers. That time is gone now. I can’t hold them and snuggle them in the same way ever again. Sure, I missed a few nights out here and there. I got frustrated. I got through it. I’m not gonna stress it anymore. This is what I have to do. He’s my baby, most likely my last, and he’s growing faster than I can stand it.
Watching all three of my kids struggle with their nasty bugs this week, all I could think about was now. Now they are sick and I need to make them feel better. I wasn’t worried about next week, or next year. I watched them moment by moment, noticing every little thing. Little by little, things got better. So I’m gonna pay closer attention to today, what’s going on around me now. Notice more stuff.
Like the green on the trees.