I’m starting a fresh blog, but I don’t want to leave behind the other stuff I wrote, so here it is……
Thursday, April 14, 2005
I don’t know what it is about the zoo. My kids would go there every single day if they could. We’ve seen that poor sleepy lion at least 20 times, the slow-moving elephant, the silly sea otters in The Swamp. The kids don’t get bored. Every time we go it’s like the first time. DD is excited every single time. DS is still a bit small, but today he even got a little excited, even pointing toward things he wanted to see. Since he doesn’t speak much, we don’t always know he has a preference, but today he wanted sea gulls and elephants. Even lunch is exciting. A ham and cheese sandwich and banana from home. Maybe it’s the fresh air or being outside amongst all things natural. We love the zoo. I love seeing my kids outside, getting excited about stuff, having a ball. Yes, when I get home I’m exhausted. But I must be enjoying myself, because as soon as we have another nice day, off we go.
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
It’s gross outside. After days of sun and warm breezes, this is what I wake up to. Cold, drizzly rain. I know the grass is thirsty. My flowering shrubs outside are trying to push out those buds. I’m sure all they need is a bit of water. As long as it doesn’t freeze out there again they should be fine. Signs of spring, new life. Signs of life at my house? Kids socks on the floor, along with toys for me to step on and half empty sippy cups. DD’s animal collection, lined up all over the house for display. " Don’t touch it, Mommy." The kitchen table is a mess because I fell asleep on the couch before I could clean it up. But to my kids it’s home. They are perfectly comfortable here in this imperfect place. The place they want to come when they’re tired and cranky. Their safe zone. As much as I pick it apart, wish that I could repaint the walls and put in new floors and make it prettier. They could care less. This is home, and it’s where we all want to be.
Sunday, April 10, 2005
I am not a morning person. The sun is shining, it’s supposed to be a beautiful day. DD comes in at about 6:45 and says, "Mommy, I slept all by myself." She proceeds to climb into bed with us and I grumble something like, "huh, okay." I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to get out of bed. I got enough sleep last night, for once. I actually slept in my bed, not on the couch because I fell asleep there watching tv. Ugh, I’m not a morning person. DS is like me. He kinda rolls around, trying to decide it he’s ready to get up or not. DD is like DH and is ready to go the minute her eyes open. I wish I was like that. I’d get much more done that way, I think.
Saturday, April 09, 2005
who I am
Something I should have figured out by now, I guess. I’ve always had a hard time with this. I know people who have real opinions about important things. I have always held back. The only explanation is fear. Fear of judgement, fear that people will think I’m dumb. I have difficulty making decisions, never really trusting myself. Always worried someone else has a better answer. Even when I try to be creative, I think I hold back for fear of criticism. Always afraid I’m doing it wrong. But creativity can’t be wrong, can it? There is no right or wrong way to create. I create in my scrapbooks. These books of pictures and journaling about the things we do as a family and the way I feel about my children. Lately I’ve been trying harder to let go, and just let things flow instead of wondering what others will think when they see it. What does it matter, really? When I’m gone and my children look at these I don’t think they’ll be critical. Okay, unless I have some really embarassing pictures in there.
Friday, April 08, 2005
Decided to join the cool kids, got me a blog. Don’t know what I’m going to do with it. I don’t know how interesting life in my world is except to me, my kids and dh. But, then again, what else do I need?